Bullying

So I’ve just come back from watching my lovely daughter’s play which was all about bullying and I’ve just discovered that it’s anti-bullying week, cue my next blog…

Now, there are so many reasons why I decided to train to be a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist/Psychotherapist. There’s the fact that I’ve seen first hand just how much it can help, the fact that I wanted to help others realise their true potential, I knew just how rewarding it would be (and it really is…!). Since before I started training I knew that I wanted to work with children. As someone who struggled with Anxiety as a child I can truly appreciate just how awful it is, the feeling of being out of control and not really knowing what is going on, just feeling fear, a scared vulnerable child!! I know that I want to help those children out Bullying

there that are struggling to deal with their emotions.

Now I digress, but bear with me… There was a famous Philosopher, John Locke (29 August 1632 -28 October 1704) who, in an Essay he wrote Concerning Human Understanding, restated that the human mind at birth is a complete, but receptive, blank slate. He referred to the term tabula rasa (which is Latin for ‘scraped tablet’ i.e., ‘clean slate’). Now I believe he was absolutely right – it makes sense… I’m not saying that any parent who has a child that is acting up and getting into trouble or suffering from anxiety has done anything wrong… As a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist I have come to learn about the different parts of the brain. I’ve learned that when we are operating from our Left Pre-Frontal Cortex (our Intellectual brain) then we are logical, we can cope with life, we’re happy and we have all the lovely neurotransmitters such as Serotonin being released. We feel confident and happy!  However, there’s another part of the brain that is the most Primitive part of the brain, this part contains our Amygdala, Hippocampus and Hypothalamus. This part of the brain is very negative! It’s constantly looking out for danger. Our negative thoughts turn to anxiety and as the anxiety builds we become stuck in our primitive brain and continue to feel negative and anxious! We become stuck in a vicious circle.

We are born with two fears; Falling and Noise! Any other fears that developed are in effect, ‘learned’. It’s a built in mechanism that is there for your self preservation and we learn many along the way. Different experiences in life create different fears and anxiety. I digress again, (but it’s going somewhere and I’ll wrap it up nicely)… In the primitive brain; when we come across fear and danger; we go into fight/flight/freeze mode! Our body reacts by releasing the chemicals it needs to the parts of the body that need it to respond by, fighting, running or freezing!! This reaction is great when we run into danger, but it’s not so good when we’re operating from that part of the brain because we’ve become stuck in our vicious circle of negativity and anxiety. So in this case, it manifests itself into anxiety, anger or depression!!

So, back to bullying… Bullying is an act of aggression and anger. So why is it that a child suffering from anxiety would be treated differently to a child suffering from anger issues? Now let me be clear that I’m not condoning bullying or justifying it in anyway!! Bullying is awful and it shouldn’t happen, but my point is that it’s all coming from the same part of the brain… Whether the child is suffering from Anxiety or Anger Issues, the child needs help!!

bright futureIf you have a child that is struggling and would like to discuss Hypnotherapy as a way to help them then please get in touch. Children respond so well to Hypnotherapy and helping them to deal with it now while they’re still young can mean an amazingly bright future for them!

National Stress Awareness Day

Its National Stress Awareness Day today so in light of that comes my next blog.Stress

We can all suffer with Stress; it’s really no wonder when we are under such pressure that comes from all directions; Work, Money, Relationships etc… It’s never ending and it’s on-going. Our metaphorical ‘stress bucket’ fills up. When we have too much in our ‘bucket’ we struggle to sleep. When we sleep and go into REM (Rapid Eye Movement), we deal with the stresses of the day. However, if it’s too full then our mind wakes us up, which means we wake up with our ‘bucket’ still full from the previous day and the day continues to throw more negative and anxious thoughts and feelings into the bucket on top of yesterday’s stress!! Now you can see the vicious circle we can get ourselves into…

How many times have you had a bad day and reeled off about 10 things that have gone wrong that day! Even down to the fact that; the tights you’ve put on now have a ladder in or you’ve dropped your toast on the floor and of course it landed butter side down and now you’re starving because you’re late and can’t make any more… How many red lights do you regularly stop at every day but that one day when ‘it’s all going wrong’ you’ve had to stop at EVERY SINGLE traffic light… and so the catastrophizing continues…! Even the small things become big things and you start to lose focus on any positive things that may have also happened that day. Never mind the fact that the children may have got up and dressed themselves for school without you asking. This pales into insignificance and they still feel the wrath of your tongue when you’re trying to get out the door.

We’ve all been there… our stress levels are building and we just don’t see the positive things in life at all; you have people that love you, you have a roof over your head, you do have a job and regular income, you can afford to put food on the table, you have a car to get you from A to B. How many times have you uttered the words, “Well that’s just my luck…” or “well that’s just typical, it would happen to me” or even “it’s just one of those days!”

Now of course a lot of the examples that I’ve described here are really quite trivial but you can see how they accumulate and we start to feel like we can’t cope. There are much bigger traumas that you can go through; loss of a loved one or relationship breakdown, but when you’re in a better frame of mind you’re just able to deal with them. A lot of the clients I see just don’t understand why they feel the way they do, they don’t really have too much stress in their life… but it’s the negative thought patterns that can get them stuck in that vicious circle.

When everything is getting on top of us, it’s hard to find the positives; but it’s so important to try. Our minds are full of neurological pathways that are strengthened over time and constantly building. The more we do things, the stronger the pathways become. It becomes second nature and we do things without even having to think about it. Driving a car… or that pin number that you use all the time, but when you stop using it, you no longer remember it (damn you contactless). It can become that way with our negative thinking too.

This is why Hypnotherapy is so effective. We don’t focus on the negatives or what has gone wrong and why, we can’t change the past so why continue to go over it and drag up old feelings that ultimately end up in our ‘bucket’. We simply focus on the small positives in life because by looking at the small positives we can build them up to be big positives and we can see where we can make big changes to improve our life and make us happy. So you can see why hypnotherapy is sustainable; we can break those bad habits and create new, more positive neurological pathways in our mind. Scientists have discovered that our minds are plastic, they call it Neuroplasticity and we can build our skills and change bad habits for a much brighter future.Rainbow

Don’t let stress and anxiety get on top of you, Hypnotherapy can you give you the tools and understanding to make changes to ensure that you don’t continue to suffer.

Negativity… the effect!

As a Solution Focused Hypnotherapist we don’t focus on the negatives…  However, I wanted to address something that I was having a conversation with somebody about recently.  They were questioning why so many people are suffering with anxiety and depression these days, there seems to be an ‘anxiety epidemic’.  It got me thinking;  is there more anxiety these days than there used to be,  do we just understand it more now, are people just more open about it or has something changed so dramatically that is causing so much anxiety?

Well, in my opinion… anxiety, stress and depression have always been there and I think there are many opinions of why it’s so much more prevalent these days but this is how I have come to see it…

Now we know that psychology isn’t a ‘new thing’, it has always been researched and research is constantly ongoing into how the brain works; but we’ve come so far in actually understanding it.  A lot of that understanding, I think, we owe to the brave souls that have stood up and spoken about their struggles.  People used to be so embarrassed to speak about the way they were feeling through fear of being labelled ‘mental’.  However, times have changed; we’ve moved on; and not only is it more acceptable to speak about how we feel, it’s becoming easier to access ways in which we can talk about it.

I think it’s important we remember that actually, anxiety is completely normal!  It is Polar Bearan inbuilt mechanism that is there for our self preservation.  If you were to see a great big polar bear heading towards you, your brain would react and give you the strength and energy you need to get away!  It’s the same in life, during stressful situations our anxiety goes up and that’s natural.  However, it was always classed in the past as being completely unnatural!

Another point that I think is worth mentioning which is a contributory factor to more anxiety, is the negativity that surrounds us – the doom and gloom.  We don’t have to wait for the 6 o’clock news to come on for our daily dose of negativity anymore or actually leave our houses to buy a newspaper… we can simply look on our phones; News apps, catch up TV, social media, (I even started getting a notification of news direct to my phone when I did the latest update – this I did not want!).  It’s never a notification to say that they’ve found the worlds smallest puppy, isn’t it cute…  Sometimes I don’t think we realise just how much negativity we are surrounded by; so it’s no wonder that we find ourselves struggling more and more to feel positive and we start to feel anxious.

Social media seems to have a lot to answer for – it can be a great platform for interacting but how much of it is actually positive interactions…?   We can see just how many people, and to what extent they are struggling when they are posting it on social media.  Good or bad… it’s out there for all to see!  It’s being discussed…  So is this not why we hear about it more these days…?

The good news is, we can change our negative patterns and learn to become more positive!  This is exactly how Solution Focused Hypnotherapy deals with these problems.  It’s actually a highly scientific researched therapy that helps with so many problems.

Welcome to my new website

Welcome to my webpage and my first ever blog.

I wanted to share with you this amazing quote.

Aerodynamic Bee

Don’t let people tell you that you can’t do something!  We can always find a way through staying positive and (as my son likes to say) persevere!!  🙂

Please feel free to subscribe to my blogs to stay up to date and I also like to give some little insights and inspiration! 🙂

Cheryl